Ehsan

Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys who were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat? I don't think so I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested yet I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Commentary on Ehsan
In a D2 poll, it was empirically determined that he is in fact, not a bully, but really kind of just wishes he was. Some people do genuinely find him intimidating though.

Quotes from Ehsan
"No. I mean, I don't know." "BECAUSE I CAN'T SUCK AS MANY AS YOU!"
 * "I live near an elementary school, which is really convenient"
 * "No, Mex, last time, you and Atmora double teamed me."
 * "I'm not a racist, I voted for Obama!"
 * "Life is like a bowl of watermelons, any moment a black man may appear and take it all away"
 * "I don't fucking swear you fuckers! ...Oh fuck I just swore."
 * "I kinda wanna see more butts getting stabbed"
 * "Whenever I play with myself I'm pretty quiet but when I'm with people I like to talk."
 * "At 20 I talk about butts every day."
 * "I don't wanna play with myself."
 * "Want me to get my Aigis figure and play with it?"
 * "Criminals come from black people."
 * "I pooped the bed."
 * "Why don't kids in wheelchairs stand up for themselves?"
 * "Small ones don't feel so great."
 * "Wanna hear my story about how I got a free bagel? I stole it."
 * "It feels really good when I beat it"
 * "I was worried people were going to say I was taking too long"
 * "I have sweaty balls"
 * "I'd play with Atmora's toilet"
 * "It's okay for 16 year olds to creep on 9 year old girls."
 * "I just think that there are some inferior races"
 * "It's Rhianna's fault because she got back together with Chris Brown"
 * "Sometimes, you just need to go full-blown furry."
 * "Black people can't drink out of the toilet."
 * "I chose to ignore that just like the civil rights movement"
 * "I put my fist in her like the civil rights sign"
 * "Why do people think I'm gay?"
 * "I swear to God if I see another baby on the streets, I'm going to kick it into the freeway!"
 * "Please Luigi, I'm trying to blow him"
 * "I blame all the countless yaoi I read."
 * "If a fisherman offers you a rod, you accept."
 * "PC, You have to leave me alone with Donkey Kong. You know what I'm gonna do"
 * "White people shouldn't be slaves, that's only for black people"
 * "The only good girl is a dead girl"
 * "Can you honestly say you haven't eaten ass?"
 * "Hey Keely, I'll sleep in your bed for 20$?"
 * "Why don't you suck dicks?"
 * "Having crabs is a life decision."
 * "I like the fact our country is free, except for black people"
 * "Crap out of my mouth"
 * "When it gets preachy I get turned off, but when it has to do with a man..."
 * "When God created the first black man he said, "Crap, I burnt one.""
 * "I kind of like shooting the African zombies more"
 * "I just love smoking weed"
 * "Oh geez! I just sprayed it all over Cooking Mama's face"
 * "Is this a good time to bring up that I don't like Asians?"
 * "Why can I not stop inflating?"
 * "I don't wanna be tied up, I'm not a black man"
 * "My favorite scene was Saber riding Shiro."
 * "It got bigger as it went on"
 * "You're too long!"
 * "aren't all people in China named Jackie Chan?"
 * "I'm doing two minors right now"